The Myth of the Lone Wolf
Where's your wolf pack?
This past weekend marks the 9th year my friend Lisa and I have been taking an annual trip together. It started the year of my divorce, in 2015, when we understood something we’d always known but hadn’t fully processed: that no matter who we loved romantically, or even married, our relationship would be one of the longest (and strongest) of our lives.
Friendship is important to talk about both in the context of life and writing. In the acknowledgements section of my book, which I recently wrote, I mention the myth of the “lone wolf”, this idea that great art and great genius is the work of one man or woman (but let’s be real, most people imagine a man) by themselves in a room. But that’s not how art or writing or much of anything gets made. In fact, I thank my wolf pack for helping my book become what it is today. Without my friends and community there would be no book.
And without Lisa there wouldn’t be an annual trip. That first year we went to Montauk, where I cried over my white wine and oysters about all the unknowns of the road ahead. In subsequent years we traveled to Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, Block Island, the Catskills, the Berkshires and more. Through divorce, dating, death, fertility ups and downs, pregnancy, marriage, Covid, and motherhood, one thing has been consistent: our yearly pilgrimages.
Taking time out of our overwhelmingly busy lives to meet halfway(ish) between where I live in Brooklyn and where she lives in Boston shows that we are prioritizing each other. It gives us a chance to breathe, go deeper than we ever could in a phone call, and laugh together. It’s also important to me that we continued our tradition even after Clementine was born. So many people told me that once I had a baby, I wouldn’t be able to continue doing the things I’d loved in the “before” times. So many people said that it would be difficult to stay friends since Lisa doesn’t have a child and I do. But neither of those things has been true. It makes me wonder: What other myths do we shape our lives around?
We’re already talking about next year’s trip. And even though my book will be published on May 6, 2025, and Lisa’s work and travel schedule is up in the air, there’s no question that we’ll find a weekend to leave the world behind.
In Community,
Ruthie
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Thanks to you, my Lone Wolf days are over🔥
Beautiful 💕