The Mistress Project
I swore I’d stay faithful to one book. Then I fell in love.
For years I’ve heard writers talk about how when they get bored or stuck they work on something else – a mistress project to keep the spark alive on the page. But I’m old fashioned and monogamy both in my writing and in real life has always been my thing.
I feared if I had two projects going at once I’d lose momentum on both. Or get confused. Or overwhelmed. Then again, I’d heard Susan Choi talk about how her novel Trust Exercise was originally a side piece that became the real thing as it blossomed under her attention and care. She’d won the National Book Award for Fiction and was longlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize. If Susan Choi did it successfully, who was I to say no?
So when I recently found myself at a crossroads with my nonfiction project, I decided to pick up that novel I’d been secretly scribbling for years. I told myself I wouldn’t fall in love. It wasn’t emotional. It would just be a little bit of fun while I waited for the other book to fall into place.
And then, you guessed it. Once I began writing I couldn’t get enough. My novel was so much more carefree than the heavy lifting of nonfiction. The words just poured out of me. I found myself laughing, feeling like a beginner again in all the best ways. The thing that surprised me wasn’t just that I fell in love with the writing, but that I started understanding things about my nonfiction project that I’d forgotten. The momentum in one book loosened something in the other. The aliveness I felt with my novel turned into aliveness for my writing in general.
What’s the project you’ve been pretending not to want? What’s the rumbling on the page that you’ve been ignoring?
I’ll tell you how the affair is going as it continues. In the meantime, go call your own side project. It’s been waiting.
xo,
Ruthie
UPCOMING WRITING CLASS
My 8-week Kickstarter starts Oct 6. This class is perfect for you if you,
Are coming back to writing or are feeling stuck in your creative process
Want to develop a consistent writing practice
Don’t necessarily have an end-goal for your writing, but simply want to play in your creative waters
Are looking for accountability, community, and guidance
You’ll get in-class writing exercises, optional homework, one-on-one workshopping of long-form pieces, and a curated mystery box of reading and listening recommendations, all designed to help you find a rhythm that lasts well beyond the course.
