High Five with Lyz Lenz
The author of This American Ex-Wife on five things she's obsessed with.
I am so thrilled to introduce my new monthly Substack installment: High Five! Each month, I'll be asking an author I love to share five recommendations they have for other writers, whatever is the wind beneath their wings when they sit down to write. We're starting on a real high note with the insanely talented Lyz Lenz.
's memoir, This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life, comes out February 20th (be sure to pre-order on Bookshop) and I can't wait for you all to read it. Also, you should all definitely subscribe to her Substack, Men Yell At Me, for everything you could possibly want to know and more about politics and our bodies.
1. Reddi-Wip in my coffee
I worked for a while as a barista, so I am a giant snob about coffee. For years I'd only do black coffee with maybe a splash of coconut milk. And I prided myself on having an "easy" coffee order. No nonsense and not fussy. But, at some point during the long slog of the 2020 shutdowns, my small son looked at me and said, "It must be great to be a grown-up, you can have whipped cream whenever you want." And I was like, "Whoa! He's right!" Why am I denying myself pleasure just so I don't inconvenience others? It's not morally good to not be fancy or fussy. It just sucks joy from life. And I am an adult. There is no one here to tell me not to put all the whipped cream in my coffee! So from that moment on I've always put whipped cream straight from the can in my coffee. Just fill my little mug with whipped cream, let the coffee brew right on top. It's GLORIOUS. Sometimes, when I am dating (rarely) a man will stay over and look at me askance for how I prepare my coffee. And I always say, "You don't get to come into my home and judge the fluffy, whipped joys of my life!"
2. True Detective: Night Country Season 4
It's the doldrums of winter and all I want to do is curl up in a blanket and watch Jodi Foster solve a weird crime along with Kali Reis. One of my favorite genres of movie and film is "murder in the winter when everyone is going a little crazy." Also, if you were looking for muscles, Kali Reis has all of them.
3. Reading alone at a bar
In the middle of the winter, when I've been home with sick kids and locked inside writing, I love to take a shower, put on some nice pants, go get a fancy cocktail, and read at the bar. Maybe I'll get some charcuterie or gnocchi. Maybe I'll meet a new friend or chat with my neighbors. Maybe I'll just have a nice couple of hours in a warm room with people and good food swirling around me lost in the words of a good book. This plan never fails me.
4. Going to swim meets
Last year, my daughter fell in love with swimming. I am not a swimmer and neither is her father. So this is a new world for us. I also didn't grow up doing sports. But watching my daughter work hard, find friends, and really come into her own in the water is one of the greatest unanticipated joys of my life. Somehow my daughter transformed into this person who sets a schedule and trains and is focused and listens to the "Flight of the Bumblebees" as her "pump up" song. I know I technically made her, but this passion is all her and has nothing to do with me, which is great. And watching her just independently blossom into this extremely amazing and rad person is incredible. As a parent, watching your kids find their passions and personalities is so thrilling and exciting. And even though I have to sit for hours on uncomfortable bleachers while the smell of chlorine burns my eyes, I love it. And even if she quits or finds something else, I'll love that too.
A couple of years ago, I decided I only wanted to buy things I loved. Really loved. This is a problem when it comes to jewelry because I am not rich. (Not being fabulously wealthy is a huge problem for me personally.) In 2022, I was visiting a friend in New York and she had these beaded shrimp earrings designed by Susan Alexandra. And I fell in love. The jewelry has a personality! It's unique and bright and I always get compliments on it. I've bought several necklaces from her store which is online and also in a physical location on the Upper East Side. I got to go to the store recently and purchased a name necklace that I am obsessed with.
Lyz Lenz’s writing has appeared in the Huffington Post, The Washington Post, the Columbia Journalism Review, The New York Times, Pacific Standard, and others. Her book God Land was published in 2019, through Indiana University Press. Her second book Belabored, was published in 2020 by Bold Type Books. Lyz’s essay “All the Angry Women” was also included in the anthology Not That Bad edited by Roxane Gay. Her third book, This American Ex-Wife, will be published by Crown. Lyz received her MFA in creative writing from Lesley University. She lives in Iowa with her two kids and two dogs.
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All three of my older son's kids are swimmers. We watched his youngest, our 13yo granddaughter swim a mile last night. She came in 2nd to a 16yo and missed her best time by 6 seconds. 6 seconds over 66 laps! She was temporarily heartbroken over not improving her time. I tried to cheer her up and she just looked me in the eyes and said, "I have high standards." I didn't know whether to tell her to go a little easier on herself or to say, "You go girl!" I just smiled, gave her a hug and told her she was very impressive.
Great read. I like this format for a feature, it allows visiting writers to be a little more human. I get Men Yell At Me already and I feel more connected to her now.